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I’m a successful man but trauma has left me gripped by anxiety | Ask Philippa
We can get attached to worry but learning to become more aware of how we make ourselves tense can help turn down that high alert state
The question I am 32-year-old man with a successful career and a loving girlfriend. I’ve suffered my fair share of trauma in my childhood and adult life and have some health issues. The problem I have right now is that my anxiety levels are so high that every morning I am frozen in fear. I struggle to get washed and dressed and have no motivation to get up and go. But it isn’t really just that. I feel physically sick at the thought of leaving the safe confines of my bedroom. I tend to watch the same TV shows for escapism over and over again. The only time I truly feel safe is at night when everyone is asleep and I’m alone – the world is quiet and it’s just me. I fear disaster and fear people expecting things of me. I am scared I will be trapped in their expectations and I won’t be able to meet them. I’m so demotivated at work and struggle to actually perform as I should. I have a high-pressure job and feel deeply insecure all the time. What can I do?
Philippa’s answer Telling me about this might not have been easy. I admire you for taking that step. Here is another: I want you to notice your breathing. Stop reading this for 10 seconds or so and notice how you breathe. OK, take 20 seconds now, and it doesn’t matter if it’s longer or shorter than that – I really want you to notice the in-breath and then your out-breath. This is you having contact with yourself in the present. When you notice how you are breathing, do you slow your breathing down? Before you get up in the morning, lie in bed being aware of your breath for a minute or two. Your attention will wander; bring it back to your breath. I don’t know about you, but I did this exercise as I typed and I felt the tiniest bit calmer – each bit of calming helps.
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