Muristek
It sounds like you will have to be explicit at setting boundaries
The dilemma At the advanced age of 80 it seems a bit strange for me to ask for help in dealing with the expectations of an elderly admirer. Surely at this age I should be able to sort myself out. My beloved husband of many years died a few years ago. The children and grandchildren have been a huge comfort. I am still working and I live a busy solo life.
I was introduced to an older widowed man by a friend. Before I knew what was happening I found myself almost immediately swept into an affair. At first it was a bit romantic and made me feel desirable again. But, oh dear, I am afraid the desire wore off fast when I discovered more about his habits and how needy he was. I found I was expected to be, at all times, available for messages and telephone calls, as well as chauffeur him about and to help run his life. He said he’d fallen in love with me and wanted to spend what was left of his time on earth with me. But was I in love with him? The answer was no. I could not cope with his emotional needs and the physical side of things was most unsatisfactory. He is an amusing and educated man, but wholly self-interested and seemingly obsessed with capturing me. It drains my energy.
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