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KENNETH SONG / NEWS-PRESSSanta Barbara Police Chief Kelly Ann Gordon
RUMORS & BUZZ
By Momus
Editor’s note: “Rumors & Buzz,” which runs each Saturday in the News-Press, is written by a journalist who has chosen a nom de plume: “Momus.” In Greek mythology, Momus is the god of satire and mockery.
A shop called Homer will soon hang its shingle on Coast Village Road.
Homer is the brainchild of Montecito resident Terry Pillow, who hails from Arkansas and has enjoyed a distinguished career with Ralph Lauren and Tommy Bahama. Until this squib, Terry’s handcrafted luxury leather tote bag, designed by himself, has been mellow Montecito’s best kept secret.
Through word of mouth only, Terry, who motors around town in a fire engine red Jeep he’s owned since college, has created a cult following among women in Montecito willing to spend months on a waiting list to own one of his “Extraordinary Carry” signature bags, crafted with the kind of buttery leather one normally associates with French luxury design house Hermes.
“There will also be accessories that relate to wine,” says Terry, “including coasters.”
Look for Homer, named after Terry’s father and grandfather, in early November.
Momus wishes Terry much success.
NEW POLICE CHIEF
Before her appointment last month as Santa Barbara’s new police chief, Kelly Ann Gordon was chief of police in Monterey Park, a city seven miles east of Los Angeles.
Momus hopes the Santa Barbara Police Department under Chief Gordon’s leadership receives better reviews than those posted on Google about her former department, which garnishes a dismal 2.6 (of 5) star rating.
The biggest gripe among the majority of 30 reviewers is that officers in that department were generally unhelpful.
Aubriann Navarro wrote (also three years ago): “Horrible staff. Very lazy and careless. Gives attitude.”
Yelp reviews are even worse, weighing in at 2.5 (of five) stars.
Jim B. of Long Beach wrote: “The department is a complete joke.”
Upper C of L.A.: “The cops here are the reason why people hate cops.”
Bogard C of L.A.: “The police department is inept.”
But this 5-star review by Keo P mitigates all the negatives: “They were very gentle when they handcuffed me, and their patrol vehicle was very roomy. Just the right amount of force was used to gain my compliance. Will get arrested by them again, for sure.”
A man after our own heart.
SAN YSIDRO RANCH HONORED
Ty Warner’s San Ysidro Ranch has been voted “Best Resort in America” by readers of Travel & Leisure magazine.
But locals despair over his Channel Drive property, the Four Seasons Resort The Biltmore Santa Barbara, which remains shuttered, along with the nearby Coral Casino — especially the latter’s private club members who cannot retrieve their membership buy-in unless/until they are replaced by a new member.
But who in their right mind would buy membership into a club that has been closed for 31 months with no date as to when, or if ever, or under what circumstances, it will reopen?
Meantime, 3,000 miles away in New York City, Ty’s other prestigious U.S. hotel, The Four Seasons, on 57th Street, is also shuttered tight with no plan to reopen anytime soon, despite luxury travel returning with a vengeance post-COVID.
The buzz around NYC is that Ty’s dispute with Four Seasons, which also extends to the Biltmore, has reached an impasse leaving neither side is willing to budge.
“They are at war,” the New York Post reported.
Ty’s gripe: Management in 2018 and 2019 was paid handsomely while he reaped zero profit.
It is believed by industry insiders that the legal dispute could go on for years, leaving both sites cobwebby and in decline — a Halloween movie in the making?
$62.2 MILLION CAMPAIGN
You’ve heard of the Six Million Dollar Man.
How about the 60-million-dollar man?
That would be billionaire Rick Caruso, owner of the Rosewood Miramar, who has so far spent $62.6 million of his own cash in a quest to get elected mayor of Los Angeles — 10 times more than that raised by his opponent, U.S. Rep. Karen Bass, D-Los Angeles.
“Is Caruso seeking to buy the election?’ poses John Regardie in the Los Angeles Times. “Of course, he is.”
Usually, in politics, whoever spends the most money, wins.
Which means if Mr. Caruso loses, he will have to add crow to the menu of Caruso’s, his signature Miramar restaurant.
SNEAKING IN ANTIBODIES?
Given all the government/pharmaceutical deception in their handling of COVID-19, especially regarding vaccine mandates and the push to vaccinate young children, Momus cannot help but wonder if reports about a polio resurgence and the need for children to be vaccinated for polio is just a ruse for infusing such serums with COVID-19 antibodies.
Just sayin’.
TITTERS
Santa Barbara thespian Billy Baldwin tweets: “If Trump were still president today … Ukraine would have been handed to Putin on a silver platter.”
You’re still suckered by an old hoax, Billy. It was President Joe Biden’s withdrawal from Afghanistan that made Russian President Vladimir Putin believe he could get away with invading Ukraine. He would not have dared if Mr. Trump was still in office because The Donald was an unpredictable wildcard.
(Last week we mistakenly referred to Billy as a “Montecito thespian.” A reader corrected us, pointing out that he now resides near the Santa Barbara Mission, and Momus confirms this to be true.)
Gavin Newsom on Instagram: “Time to take your money back from greedy oil companies that are stealing $$ at the pump.”
Aw, Gov, give it up and get real. More like, greedy California state government is stealing $$ at the pump, charging the highest gas tax in the country at 67 cents a gallon.
If you have a tip for Momus, send it to momus@newspress.com.
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