Muristek
Well, if you don’t like Valentine’s Day, then this year you have a great excuse not to participate. That being said, if you are in a relationship with someone who loves the day of love, you really should try to go along with it. Rejecting love in any form is hurtful to the person offering it to you, and you don’t want to add hurt to anyone’s life, especially to the one you love.
Try figuring out how to do this day with your partner in a way that works for both of you. By brainstorming together, you can come up with new ideas or happily settle on the old ones.
If you just end up watching TV and eating a heart-shaped pizza (just ask your local shop and they will do it for you), that sounds romantic enough to me. By the way, Valentine’s Day is the biggest pizza delivery night of the year, so you will be in good company. My wife will have some additional input and ideas, and my only response will be “yes” (as long as we get to stay home).
If you don’t have a partner but you still like the idea of celebrating, you can celebrate “Quirky Alone Day.” This alternative to Valentine’s Day has become popular in many cities and towns for people who haven’t found the right partner but want celebrate love in all its forms. Whether you have a romantic partner or not, you still get to party. I honestly think St. Valentine would have demanded it.
If you don’t have a sweetheart, you need to count your blessings anyway and realize that you are OK as you are. You can also make a decision to change your situation. Dating during COVID-19 is a challenge, but we have lots of technology and health protocols to help us stay safe. And we have the internet to help us stay connected.
According to a CNN report, 50% of relationships are now started online, and I imagine that many people have limited themselves to online dating. The positive of this long-distance or just-staying-safe connection is that many people are taking more time to get to know someone before getting involved. And taking that your time makes the chance of a successful relationship all the more likely.
Having someone to just say good morning to you is an uplifting experience. Many people are isolating much more than ever before, and research shows that loneliness can be worse for your physical well-being than smoking. Still, it is your choice. Not everyone can be in a relationship, and that’s just fine. If you are content with your life, there is no reason to do something just because it’s on a few calendars.
Valentine’s Day is supposed to remind us of love. To give it, to show it, to revel in it and to share it with the people who are important to us. If you think there is no one, please look in the mirror and give yourself a little love. It all starts with you, and loving yourself can make your life a very pleasant place to be. It will also make you a more pleasant person to be with.
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is an award-winning therapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, the author of seven books, and a blogger for PsychologyToday.com with nearly 27 million readers. Reach him at barton@bartongoldsmith.com. His column appears Sundays and Tuesdays in the News-Press.
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